Tag Archives: raising children

Choosing to Have Children.. or not.

First, check out this article which is a view on choosing not to have children. It’s a great little read which has sparked some communication on the topic through various social media sites: http://thoughtcatalog.com/abby-rosmarin/2013/12/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids/

I feel like I can relate on both ends of the spectrum. You do not need a child to be validated as a person. I had my ideals reversed a few years ago, it seems. I was always the one that never wanted children. I thought kids were weird. Not something that interested me. I only babysat my brother & sister when I was younger & that was enough for me. I wanted a ton of animals & that would have made me happy. I wanted to travel the world. Then everything changed & my outlook changed.. in the opposite direction. I never thought I would make a good Mother. Now? Now I realize I am a kick-ass Mother & I adore my daughter more than anything. It IS tough though. Some days I wonder if I am the biggest screw up. Other days I think I’ve got a handle on parenting.

Since the man & I were together for so long before having a baby, we heard every comment imaginable. It got extremely frustrating. People will say anything, without realizing the back-story. You never know everything that is going on. Nor should you. I had so many rude comments made when I would say I didn’t think I wanted children. Hell, even when I was pregnant with my daughter I was getting comments about when we would start on another one! Seriously. 

The people that choose to have children for the wrong reasons are the ones that mess up their kids in the end. 

There are amazing people that chose not to have children that have wonderful, fulfilled lives. Whether you want a baseball team full of kids, just one child or no children — that is okay. It is the right thing. Whichever you choose.

 

All words and images Copyright © 2013 Holly Adams and Ninja/Wifey/Mama/Me, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use is prohibited.

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Daddy’s Day

This weekend we celebrate M’s first official Father’s Day. Last year we were pregnant with A and now? Now our gorgeous girl is here and we get to celebrate with her!

The role of “Father” seems to have grown compared to previous eras. Dad’s these day take on more of the parenting duties. Or.. they should. More Dad’s seem to be taking part in the child’s life. I find especially that Father’s in or around my generation are playing a bigger role in raising children. And M is no exception. He takes on many parenting duties. When he gets home from work he will take A from me so I can run to the bathroom, get Supper ready, have a shower. Our arrangement seems to be that he changes her night diapers since I nurse her. He enjoys bath time in the evening with her, just as much as I do. We lay in bed at night and read a book to A.. together. He is as proud as can be pushing that stroller around in the grocery store, mall, on the sidewalk.. she is his daughter and he wears that like a badge of honour. As he should!

My husband is amazing. I try and tell him on a daily basis what a fantastic Father he is – not just on one particular day. When I asked him what he wanted for Father’s Day, he eloquently said “Beer. And a nap.” Well then.. easy enough, no? M doesn’t ask for much and when he does he knows I can’t ever say no to him (except a PS3 years ago.. and I was right, wasn’t I dear ol’ hubby?!) I always try and get him a mixture of something unique, something practical and something fun for his gifts. His birthday wasn’t long ago and he received a shirt, a pair of pants, whiskey and whiskey rocks (awesome little invention!) He did not want to go anywhere fancy for Supper, rather – he wanted to BBQ at home. And he wanted to man the grill himself. Sounds good to me!

One of the man’s Father’s Day gifts I got him. Dorky? Of course! Awesome? Yes! He loved it. So much cooler than one of those typical stick figure family decals!

We began dating when I was just 15; he was 16. I never wanted to get married, didn’t want children. I wanted to move out as soon as I could and get the hell out of my small town and travel the world. I wanted to disappear and get away from it all. M grounded me so much. He was the complete opposite in ways from me.. but at the same time, so similar. We have been through so much in our lives and have only grown stronger in our relationship. We were together for 10 years experiencing life together, forming our identities individually and as a couple, growing even more in love.. then we got married and now we have a little one of our own. I really think this will help in us raising A. We know each other SO well and have such an immense, all-encompassing love and respect for each other. He really is the best partner I could ever ask for. We are so thankful to have him in our lives. He has always been there for me through everything. He is just so thoroughly sweet.

He changed every single diaper while in the hospital since I was laid up in bed. The nurses were amazed by him! I wasn’t, because I knew that was how he was and how lucky I am to have him. I love him even more, which I did not think was possible! It feels like she has always been carved in our little family and was just meant to be and like she has always been around. She really does complete our little family.

One of my absolute favourite articles written about Fathers and Daughters: http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters. It is such a great read and couldn’t be more true. Especially the first one listed – Love Her Mom. By A seeing how well her Daddy treats her Mama, it will give her that confidence to seek out a love like ours. Filled with love, respect, compassion, trust. She will have such a strong male role-model to look up to. He is what a real man should be. He is not only the main provider for our family, but he is emotionally there for us.

I love you, my gamer/nerdy/loving/sweet/funny husband. You are the greatest man I could have ever procreated with! ♥

Maybe I will let him have that nap, after all!

Our attempt at making a Daddy sign to surprise M with. Needless to say, she was more interested in shoving the sign in her mouth and tearing the paper off!

All words and images Copyright © 2012 Holly Adams and Ninja/Wifey/Mama/Me, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use is prohibited.

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